Transition
It’s a little over a week since I’ve graduated with my Master’s Degree. I identify as someone who needs to be moving and doing. Unfortunately, I often measure my worth around my productivity. This has caused me strife and relational tension and has allowed me for many amazing opportunities. My partner often says, “Callie, I need you to take it from here to here”, while moving his hand from above his head to below his belly button. However, I did just complete a masters degree, a ton of trainings, 20 hr/week practicum, 20-30 hours a week working, volunteering for music organizations and obtaining a grant from Arts Missoula. So it’s not all bad. Hence, the and.
In the mental health world right now it’s common to hear people replace the word but with and. This calls recognition to the idea that two things can often coexist at once and things don’t have to be oppositional or negate the other. I feel this is appropriate to bring this idea to transition times.
Personally, graduating has been extremely bitter sweet for me. I’m excited to be entering the world of private practice and I’m nervous. If I were to have used the word but where and lies it could imply that the nervousness out-ways the excitement. However, they stand to exist within this body at the same time. Think: cookies and cream, peanut butter and jelly, coffee and cream… you get the idea.
Transition times where I’m not doing as much often brings attention to the ambivalence, limbo land and uncertainty that the future can hold. We all mastered limbo land during the Rona, right? However, uncertainty and ambivalence still sneaks up during times in our lives where our worldview is changing. This might look like divorce, marriage, break ups, new love, job change, change from being a couple to having kids, change from kids moving out of the house, death, life or any other life transition time you may be facing at any given moment. AND ambivalence isn’t always a bad thing. When you have these times of transition it creates time for your true emotions to flow through rather than to get stuck within your body because you’re so busy distracting yourself with work, homework and the next thing on your calendar.
In times of transitions it’s important to find places to turn to to process what’s happening for you. Here are some things you may consider for to better understand your transition:
Therapy - Having a third party that is fresh to your situation can help you to gain understanding and move through transition times. There is no right or wrong way to move through transition times, unless you’re causing harm to yourself or others.
Moving your body - some call this exercise, however, when worded as exercise I feel that can imply a level of shame. I feel it’s more important to play and find ways to move your body that are fun and specific to you. Such as hiking, dancing around the kitchen, running, walking around the neighborhood and picking out your favorite house, walking through the woods and comparing textures of the leaves, racing friends or family to the end of the block.
Creating - this can look different for everyone. Organizing the house is my new favorite way to create. I make a big big mess and pull everything out of a drawer or shelf and put it all back so it looks new, neat and tidy. Many turn to making music, writing poetry or making art. When creating in this way I feel it important to remove your “thinking” brain. Create just to create and get into a flow state.
Anything that turns your brains chatterbox off - there are SO many amazing podcasts out there with breathing exercises that are free. I like Wim Hof breathing techniques because they tend to energize me more than others. However, if you’re trying to wind down for bed or relax there are many wherever you stream. I encourage you to “shop around” and find one that works for you. Being in radio, I find some voices annoy me or the speed is too slow or too fast. Those are some things you might notice when you’re searching.
And now - off we go into the new transition time! I’ll hopefully be able to start seeing clients at the end of the summer, so if you know of anyone looking for therapy - I’m your gal. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do the first meeting for free.
All my love and best to you in looking at whatever transition you’re currently facing at this time.
